Look for solution not for a guilty

When facing a problem look for a solution not for a guilty.
There are two basic ways of facing problems, one is to look for the guilty. Who was?!, the other is to try to solve it.
In a higher porcentage than what it should happen we look for a guilty. This don't solve the problem but make it worst. When you find the guilty what you're going to do?. To beat him/her?.
Any person than make a mistake feels enought embarrass, he/her doesn't need to be point to or anything else
To look for a solution has a very high probability of solving the problem (if it's possible), besides it's given the posibility of learning if it was a human fail and don't encourage feelings of shame and guiltyness....

Better write than talk

When you have a problem you better write it down than speak about it. When we are in group we use to take more extreme decisions than when alone. To talk with another about our problems can be of not help al all (this in the best situation) or even to be negative to us. Imagine you have a problem with a person you work with, if you talk about it with a friend probably your friend would understand you and you would take your arguments further than if you would't , this will make the problem bigger and bigger.
When we write down a problem the cognitive process is completely different than we we talk. We have to organize better the information, this will allow us to make a better analysis of the problem and would make easy to find solutions

We regret more whatwe don't do than what we d

If we do something, it can go good or not but usually we don't regret a lot about it.
When we look back on our life we regret more what we did not than what we did.
This knowledge can help us when taking decisions about whether doing something we would like but we are afraid, the satisfaccion if it gets good is bigger than the danger that it's not so.
It can be from common sense but, anybody survives life, don't do because of fear like when we're afraid of a closer relation with a friend or a possible couple. It's always better to suffer from love than don't have love, we know we had lived and we can do it again... when we go throught. Besides sometimes the thing goes good, that person we give an opportunity really worth it

To get angry only makes bad to ourselves

To get angry only makes bad to ourselves.
The emotions affect our body fisically, our own emotions affect us and nobody else, the angryness makes us to feel bad, and only to ourselves (unless we make something to make anothers to feel the same).
If we get angry because another person gets something we wanted, the person who feels bad about our angryness is ourselves, the other person probably even would not know it.
Considering what it is above to get angry is a really stupid behaviour and it goes against our health and happiness.

Development of moral system

There are 6 different levels on the moral system development we go through from our childhood and youth. If we get to reach the last level we become into a full- develope human being and this get us closer to the posibility of living happily
The levels are:
1- Selfishness
Stage1 Punishment. "I will not do this because I don't want to be punished."
Stage2 Reward. "I will do this because I want to be reward."
2-Social approval.
Stage3 Interpersonal relations. "I will not do this because I need people to like me"
Stage4 Social order. "I will not do tis because I would be breaking the law"
3-Abstract ideals
Stage 5 Social contract. "I will not do this because I'm not obiged to do so"
Stage 6 Universal rights. "I will not do this, it's wrong whatever anothers say"

In any moment of our life we can behave in any of this levels but if we usually behave considering the last one is because we have come to a full development of our cognitive skills. We consider the differents variables affecting each situation to consider its morality.
But, why is it so important to be happy to have a 6 level of moral system and good cognitive skills?
Our happiness depends on how we understand the reality, on how we think about everything, to have a good cognitve skills help us to consider the matters from differents points of view, consider alternatives, being objetive, knowing why we make the things and changing our way of doing if necesary, make us flexibility.
Mental skills like everything in our live have to be trainned and the only way of doing this, it's using our brain, thinking.
For example, one moral dilemma: Death penalty. You can take one position about it and explain why. It can be a good moral exercise that train your cognitive skills.

I can say that death penalty is in relation with our consideration of social relations, whether we relation by love or by justice. By justice we consider the revenge like a way of rewardering the victims. Another way of consider social relation is love, consider the posibility of failing and learning from it. In this way it would be the rehabilitation penal system, you consider the criminal like somebody who did something wrong and try to help this person to adapt to society at the same time you protect society from people who can damage anothers.
what do you think?
The moral levels are taking from Lawrence Kohlberg. On the last 50s he was making an experiment. He follow children while turning into adults to know the level of moral development they were going throught and the top they come. I'm sorry I have the information only in a spanish article. (Temas 49 Investigación y Ciencia. Article "El desarrollo moral de los niños" William Damon). But I think it would not be much difficult to find something about it in english searching in internet.