We don't use to value all we have (whether material or not). We spend our lives wanting to get something so when we get it we look for another and so on. If we look back to what we got on life,what we are in all ways, personal, work, friendship, family, material things... we can feel really good about it.
We use to focus on the defects, on what we have not. For example, If you have a husband sensitive, kind, wonderful with you and the children, easy to live with.... you can complain because he is slowly, or because he does not make the things of the house like you would...
Focus on anothers faults or what we have not is a very harmful habit.
With children the same, they behave lovely all day and when are sleepy, tired and behave bad is when you give them attention. We must correct but also it's important we recognize usually the children behave good. When they make something wrong we can correct them but not telling them they are bad because it's not true and harm them (I know what I'm talking about I have two littles ones).
Focus how lovely is your couple and children makes better the every day living. Besides we are not perfect ourselves.
With the material things the same, we focus on places we can't go, things we can't have.... instead of thinking on everything we already have. I'm the first one who would not mind to be outraeously rich but it's not necesary to be happy, there are many studies that show that reached an economical level having more or less money affects little to the happiness. The most of things that makes us enjoy are not expensive or simply free, like chating, laughing, walking, sex, singing, sports, enjoy nature, do something manual, remembering (a travel, situation, movie you liked), imagine, daydreaming, nightdreaming...)
We can habit to valuing ourselves, our life, our relatives, our things, if we discover thinking on what we don't we can change our mind to positive. We can make an action like: In the book "The Secret" (read on anyone owns risk) there is a really intelligence idea. It's called the thanks stone or something similar. You cary a stone or another small object in the pocket, every time your touch it you must think on somethin pleasant to feel grateful. It focus you on positive on a very easy way.
Remember, we feel depending on our thoughts, if you feel bad it's because you're thinking on something that hurts you, you can analize it and sarch for arguments to change them.
What we think is not necesary true and it doesn't define us, it's only a product of our mind. Really sometimes our neurons have nothing else to do than driven us crazy, but we can reason and choose.
I hope it helps you to feel better. A kiss
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Realize about our thoughts
Throughout our lives we internalize a set of beliefs about how things are, this beliefs are consider like holy truth and guide our behavior and our thoughts in a non-concious way.
Most of time we behave by habits and make quickly judgement with lttle information, our brain is structured to make patterns, habits, routines, both in actions and in thoughts.
The set of beliefs guide our everyday life, they are our beliefs about anothers doing, what we can do or not, how we are... all this deal our behavior and social relationships.
We use to explain our behavior after, we are an story makers (and we make it really good).
We can detect our beliefs paying attention to what we use to say, and what we use to do, what is important to us, what anothers make that really upset us, what it's usually said in our family.... our beliefs come from our close ambience
To reflect on moral sistem, why we feel something better or worst, the cultural use (like meal times), trying to understand why anothers think the way they do. We don't have to say like a reason to do something "I make it because I think so..." We have to try to find a really reason why something is better doing than another... if we decide to make it because we think so at least we know that there are options the same good.
We can develop a more rational system of beliefs which would help us to live happier, more concious, more responsible and over all more respect with us and the rest of the people, we would get things by negotiation and reason, not because we are stronger or shout louder.
Most of limitations are on our beliefs not in the reality, in general anybody can get anything they want, one astronaut is a human being with trainning, simply somethings take more work than anothers.
One psychologist very interesting to read about destructive beliefs, feelings and behaviors is Albert Ellis who develop the Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, he found out that there was some beliefs on the base of a lot of patologies.
I'll give your an example of erroneus belief without importance to point how easy they are generated:
"When I was younger and learning to cook, my mother explain me thay chickpeas should be soaked on hot water and boil without salt or they would not be cook. The beans are soaked on cold water and boil with salt or they would not be cook. As I'm very disobedient and incapabe to make a recipe as it is on the book I didn't make like my mother told...... and it happen nothing, the chickpeas and the beans cooked even if they were both soaked in cold water and boiled with salt (and very tasty)
It's interesting to realize what really matters and what are simply different ways of making
Human beings make relations of couse and effect very good and sistematic, it's on the base of our way of learning, it's very useful but it can give often superstitious behaviors.
To use our intelligence to analyze and evaluate our beliefs, habits, actions.... will help us to be more happy.
Most of time we behave by habits and make quickly judgement with lttle information, our brain is structured to make patterns, habits, routines, both in actions and in thoughts.
The set of beliefs guide our everyday life, they are our beliefs about anothers doing, what we can do or not, how we are... all this deal our behavior and social relationships.
We use to explain our behavior after, we are an story makers (and we make it really good).
We can detect our beliefs paying attention to what we use to say, and what we use to do, what is important to us, what anothers make that really upset us, what it's usually said in our family.... our beliefs come from our close ambience
To reflect on moral sistem, why we feel something better or worst, the cultural use (like meal times), trying to understand why anothers think the way they do. We don't have to say like a reason to do something "I make it because I think so..." We have to try to find a really reason why something is better doing than another... if we decide to make it because we think so at least we know that there are options the same good.
We can develop a more rational system of beliefs which would help us to live happier, more concious, more responsible and over all more respect with us and the rest of the people, we would get things by negotiation and reason, not because we are stronger or shout louder.
Most of limitations are on our beliefs not in the reality, in general anybody can get anything they want, one astronaut is a human being with trainning, simply somethings take more work than anothers.
One psychologist very interesting to read about destructive beliefs, feelings and behaviors is Albert Ellis who develop the Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, he found out that there was some beliefs on the base of a lot of patologies.
I'll give your an example of erroneus belief without importance to point how easy they are generated:
"When I was younger and learning to cook, my mother explain me thay chickpeas should be soaked on hot water and boil without salt or they would not be cook. The beans are soaked on cold water and boil with salt or they would not be cook. As I'm very disobedient and incapabe to make a recipe as it is on the book I didn't make like my mother told...... and it happen nothing, the chickpeas and the beans cooked even if they were both soaked in cold water and boiled with salt (and very tasty)
It's interesting to realize what really matters and what are simply different ways of making
Human beings make relations of couse and effect very good and sistematic, it's on the base of our way of learning, it's very useful but it can give often superstitious behaviors.
To use our intelligence to analyze and evaluate our beliefs, habits, actions.... will help us to be more happy.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Living the present
We use to live our lives on the past or on the future, it's rare that we focus on the now, we use to live thinking on when I have a good work, when the children grow up, when I have time... or money....without enjoing about every activity we are doing on the right now.
To remember is not bad, we can enjoy remembering good times and feeling good, but if we use our time to remember bad moments we would be suffering doble and this don't have a lot of sense.
To make plains can be gook, it will give us hope and ilusions but we can not stop living the now because of nothing. If we are not enjoing on the present we have to think twice what is happening in our lives.
The best way to enjoy the present is enjoing on what we do every day, when we are working, or when we are at home. To me it's easy to enjoy in my work because I adore it, but if even you don't like a lot your work, sure you always can find something positive, and sure there is a reason your working on that. When you have to make another things by obligation like for example when I have to iron (this is the activity I like to make less) and I don't have money to pay somebody to make it by me, I put music and I begin singing or I whach something on TV or DVD that I like. There's always a way to enjoy making the things.
You can start on the morning, when you wake up feeling the energy, the ilusion of a new day, when you go to work (I go by bus and I can read, observe the countryside, talk with somebody, or simply thinking on something nice, if it's not nice I stop quickly and I change my mind.
There are several tecnics to focus on the now.
You can stop breathing and begin taking air slowly and imagine it going around all your body. Keep on breathing slowly and deeply while you center the atention on each and every part of your body, being completly concious of anyone.
The biggest problem to live on now is that we're thinking all the time, without stopping, to stop thinking the best way is to try to be very concius on what we are thinking... like telling oneself, now I want to know what I am thinking..... and suddenly..... we think nothing, it's very funny how we work....... Well, so we have to be very concious on what we are doing and we have to try to know what we are thinking so we are center on the present, it's easy, and when we make it more it will be better mada, we would be more conciuos and realize what we loose when we are not center on the present.
When I was younger, during a time I was nervious and I woke up in the night, it takes me terrible work to sleep again, when I begin focus on how nice it was to be lay down in the warm, nice, soft bed, how confortable it was, and I still have a lot of time to stay on the bed until the morning, obviouly I fall sleep very quickly.
To live in the present is an attitude we can take and it really would make us to live better, to slow down, to enjoy and be concious of what we are doing. The most of the time the most important is while your making, more than the result.
I work on a day center with demential people, the most important is to make them have the best quality of life, more important than the own therapy is how I make the therapy, it really focus you in the present, I learn a lot from this.
To remember is not bad, we can enjoy remembering good times and feeling good, but if we use our time to remember bad moments we would be suffering doble and this don't have a lot of sense.
To make plains can be gook, it will give us hope and ilusions but we can not stop living the now because of nothing. If we are not enjoing on the present we have to think twice what is happening in our lives.
The best way to enjoy the present is enjoing on what we do every day, when we are working, or when we are at home. To me it's easy to enjoy in my work because I adore it, but if even you don't like a lot your work, sure you always can find something positive, and sure there is a reason your working on that. When you have to make another things by obligation like for example when I have to iron (this is the activity I like to make less) and I don't have money to pay somebody to make it by me, I put music and I begin singing or I whach something on TV or DVD that I like. There's always a way to enjoy making the things.
You can start on the morning, when you wake up feeling the energy, the ilusion of a new day, when you go to work (I go by bus and I can read, observe the countryside, talk with somebody, or simply thinking on something nice, if it's not nice I stop quickly and I change my mind.
There are several tecnics to focus on the now.
You can stop breathing and begin taking air slowly and imagine it going around all your body. Keep on breathing slowly and deeply while you center the atention on each and every part of your body, being completly concious of anyone.
The biggest problem to live on now is that we're thinking all the time, without stopping, to stop thinking the best way is to try to be very concius on what we are thinking... like telling oneself, now I want to know what I am thinking..... and suddenly..... we think nothing, it's very funny how we work....... Well, so we have to be very concious on what we are doing and we have to try to know what we are thinking so we are center on the present, it's easy, and when we make it more it will be better mada, we would be more conciuos and realize what we loose when we are not center on the present.
When I was younger, during a time I was nervious and I woke up in the night, it takes me terrible work to sleep again, when I begin focus on how nice it was to be lay down in the warm, nice, soft bed, how confortable it was, and I still have a lot of time to stay on the bed until the morning, obviouly I fall sleep very quickly.
To live in the present is an attitude we can take and it really would make us to live better, to slow down, to enjoy and be concious of what we are doing. The most of the time the most important is while your making, more than the result.
I work on a day center with demential people, the most important is to make them have the best quality of life, more important than the own therapy is how I make the therapy, it really focus you in the present, I learn a lot from this.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
2-love yourself
We use to live depending on what the rest of the people thinks about us.
This can be very stressful because we don't have any control, besides, we would be angels or demons depending who you ask.
What it is really important is what we think about ourselves, if we love and accept us the way we are, with our skills and defects, what the rest of the people think does not mind, it's their business.
We are responsible of what we do and what we say, but if we let anothers to control this, we would not be living our own life and it will make us very unhappy. The way anothers can try to control us is usually by making us feeling guilty or by remembering us what we "should" do. We have to try to think why we make the things, if it is because we really want or because we feel bad about somebody if we don't.
If we love and respect ourselves we feel free to make things by the rest but it is because we choose to do it.
This can be very stressful because we don't have any control, besides, we would be angels or demons depending who you ask.
What it is really important is what we think about ourselves, if we love and accept us the way we are, with our skills and defects, what the rest of the people think does not mind, it's their business.
We are responsible of what we do and what we say, but if we let anothers to control this, we would not be living our own life and it will make us very unhappy. The way anothers can try to control us is usually by making us feeling guilty or by remembering us what we "should" do. We have to try to think why we make the things, if it is because we really want or because we feel bad about somebody if we don't.
If we love and respect ourselves we feel free to make things by the rest but it is because we choose to do it.
1- 3 nice situations before sleeping
Think about 3 nice situations you live during the day before you fall sleep. It will relax you.
We feel like we think. If we're thinking something nice we can't feel anger, if we are able to think something nice before we sleep we will relax and the quality of our sleeping will be better, when we are worry about something we can have an sleepless night.
The brain is like a net, the emotions are conexion whith the thoughts, if we remember something pleasant we would feel good and if this happens before sleeping we will stay calm all night.
Think about 3 nice situations you live during the day before you fall sleep. It will relax you.
We feel like we think. If we're thinking something nice we can't feel anger, if we are able to think something nice before we sleep we will relax and the quality of our sleeping will be better, when we are worry about something we can have an sleepless night.
The brain is like a net, the emotions are conexion whith the thoughts, if we remember something pleasant we would feel good and if this happens before sleeping we will stay calm all night.
why?
This is a selfish blog. I use to be happy, and I like people to be happy, when we are more I'll have more possibilities to meet them
Happiness is on our hand all the time but we don't use to realize. It is an attitude we can take about what it happens to us, if the situation is too tough we can always take it easy and stand while it lasts.
I will try to give 1001 ideas easy to do about how to enjoy life.
Besides I have to improve my english, so if I write something wrong, or strange, please tell me.
Happiness is on our hand all the time but we don't use to realize. It is an attitude we can take about what it happens to us, if the situation is too tough we can always take it easy and stand while it lasts.
I will try to give 1001 ideas easy to do about how to enjoy life.
Besides I have to improve my english, so if I write something wrong, or strange, please tell me.
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