To be able to relation properly with others we have to know how to relation with ourselves first, to love another is necessarily to love oneself as it happen with respect…
If you are able to relation properly with yourself you are an independence person… How to develop independence? Though moral and ethics, give us the way to consider our thoughts and behavior (not judge) our environment and the relation with others.
Using a few minutes of our time to think about morality take us to a deeper relation with ourselves, to do so, we can think about what we would like our relatives, friends…say to one person who writes our biography, we can also search for information about that subjects, what moral rules last along centuries and what change, moral in different cultures… this can give us a wide idea and make our life richer.
How independence improve our relation with others? Relation from respect makes others to know what to expect and trust. Trust is the base to human relations. Honesty and integrity are easy recognition by everybody
We can focus our life in a lot of things, some make it on the children, couple, friends, goods, fashion…. We use to focus in what we have been taught.. Relatives and another people around us are very important but if we focus our life on them and depend on them we make us and them bad. A wife who depends on her husband has not an own life and this suffocate the relation, kills the trust, raises the fear…
There are people focus on hate to another, this makes their lives completely miserable and they suffer a lot. Hate hurts the person who feel it more than anybody else.
Think about what kind of person we would like to be and what moral we would like to develop take us into a path of personal growing that allowed us to be more relax and happiest.
A kiss
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
short idea to up happiness
One friend tells me since she discover the blog that I should write often… there are always excuses but it’s what is chosen.
On Friday I was reading the week puzzle in Richard Wiseman blog and I thought it would be a good idea to do the same, every week write an idea about how to up the happiness…. There are million things one can do to this, changing ways of thinking, some small habits, or change completely our mind… in general it’s not so difficult to feel better, only thinking something nice is enough… We live in a tragic, tragic society, it looks like we’re in a competition about who is the most unfortunate, the news programs in a competition to scare us more and more… we can always try the opposite, we only live once, and living is very dangerous, anybody survives, so better taking less seriously ourselves and enjoy…
By the way, Wisseman puzzle is: What is X value? 16-01-68-88-X-98, I have an idea but I’m not very sure, I give the answer when I have it.
After all this talking… what idea…
This one is very useful, memory and mood are very relation, when we feel bad we remember bad situations… when we feel good we remember good situations. If we remember happy things we change our mood… you can remember sad and getting sad if your weird…
The idea of the week is just that… remember something happy, look for your happy remembers,
We have happy remembers of all kind, parties, tenderness, emotive, intense… our life is full of wonderful moments, the brain is very connected and the first moment you remember something happy, more and more happy remembers you will discover you have. It never happen to you being with a longtime friend, begin remembering stuff and realize how many things you were able to remember?, the first time it happen to me I also realize about my age…
Hope it will be useful, you can do it anywhere, any moment, even in a traffic jam… you have a lost time… you can remember… be careful not to laugh alone.
Big kiss
On Friday I was reading the week puzzle in Richard Wiseman blog and I thought it would be a good idea to do the same, every week write an idea about how to up the happiness…. There are million things one can do to this, changing ways of thinking, some small habits, or change completely our mind… in general it’s not so difficult to feel better, only thinking something nice is enough… We live in a tragic, tragic society, it looks like we’re in a competition about who is the most unfortunate, the news programs in a competition to scare us more and more… we can always try the opposite, we only live once, and living is very dangerous, anybody survives, so better taking less seriously ourselves and enjoy…
By the way, Wisseman puzzle is: What is X value? 16-01-68-88-X-98, I have an idea but I’m not very sure, I give the answer when I have it.
After all this talking… what idea…
This one is very useful, memory and mood are very relation, when we feel bad we remember bad situations… when we feel good we remember good situations. If we remember happy things we change our mood… you can remember sad and getting sad if your weird…
The idea of the week is just that… remember something happy, look for your happy remembers,
We have happy remembers of all kind, parties, tenderness, emotive, intense… our life is full of wonderful moments, the brain is very connected and the first moment you remember something happy, more and more happy remembers you will discover you have. It never happen to you being with a longtime friend, begin remembering stuff and realize how many things you were able to remember?, the first time it happen to me I also realize about my age…
Hope it will be useful, you can do it anywhere, any moment, even in a traffic jam… you have a lost time… you can remember… be careful not to laugh alone.
Big kiss
Sunday, May 15, 2011
State of fear
I want to post this extract from "State of fear" Michael Crichton, it really makes me to think:
Has it ever ocurred to you how astonishing the culture of Western society really is?
Industrialized nations provide their citizens with unprecedented safety, health, and comfort. Average life spans increased fifty percent in the last century. Yet modern people live in abject fear. They are afraid of strangers, of disease, of crime, of environment. They are afraid of the homes they live in, the food they eat, the technology that surrounds them. They are in a particular panic over things they can´t even see- germs, chemicals, additives, pollutants. They are timid, nervous, fretful, and depressed. And even more amazingly, they are convinced that the environment of the entire planet is being destroyed around them. Remarkable! Like the belief in withchcraft, it´s an extraordinary delusion- a global fantasy worthy of de Middle Ages. Everything is going to hell, and we must all live in fear. Amazing
It´s page 551
Has it ever ocurred to you how astonishing the culture of Western society really is?
Industrialized nations provide their citizens with unprecedented safety, health, and comfort. Average life spans increased fifty percent in the last century. Yet modern people live in abject fear. They are afraid of strangers, of disease, of crime, of environment. They are afraid of the homes they live in, the food they eat, the technology that surrounds them. They are in a particular panic over things they can´t even see- germs, chemicals, additives, pollutants. They are timid, nervous, fretful, and depressed. And even more amazingly, they are convinced that the environment of the entire planet is being destroyed around them. Remarkable! Like the belief in withchcraft, it´s an extraordinary delusion- a global fantasy worthy of de Middle Ages. Everything is going to hell, and we must all live in fear. Amazing
It´s page 551
Learning to be happy
The capacity to enjoy life can be learn as nearly anything else. Our brain can be shape all life long.
The search on how the brain works is making us to understand better how we take decisions and how we can use this knowledge to be happy.
Brain is like a net (like fishermen’s), when you sew more and more in one part this makes stronger, this is similar to what it happens in our brain, when you think more in something this thought gets stronger, It´s interesting an article from Lena Jelinek and Steffen Moritz. “Association Splitting”, you can get the manual in this link: http://www.uke.uni-hamburg.de/kliniken/psychiatrie/index_31780.php
Education is very important to develop the skill to be happy. When baby, to be care with love and tenderness is very importatn because it generate a pre schema where new knowledge will be add. We develope a system of beliefs about how we are, how the world is, what we can expect from others and the world, what is good and bad, how to behave…. This schema can be change along the whole life, human beings have capacity of learning all life long.
Why I talk about beliefs? We do because faith, we believe things are on one way and we behave as effect. If you believe that you need to wear red shoes to go to work or something really wrong will happen, would you be able to go to work with white shoes?... we really do this way. To any knowledge association we associate a feeling, here red shoes—work—fear. The story can be easy or not, it depends on what work you have… If your are a clown… or you are a priest….
If we search in our memory we can find beliefs that are little logical (over all in another persons, of course…).
For example, I have two children, full of energy (from always, who sais newborns are not active?), with my expectative and the ones of my mother in love about how much food they need we generate a problem… I consider that they should eat more but… as they were healthy and active I didn´t worry so much, one day I reconsider the expectative because my mother in love went to far, she told me that if I didn´t obligate my older doughter to eat more her stomach would close…. Well, this was too much, my doughter had always be even more than the average on the percentiles so if she was healthy, energy and growing there was no evidence she was not feeding herself enough…my concern should be the quality not the quantity.
To obligate a baby or a child to eat can be a kind of abuse…and our society is very tolerant to it.
How I can learn to be happy? We have to evaluate what we belief in…. the key can be our emotions… when we emotion we get angry, or need to imposition our opinion to another person we should stop and think, why our opinion is better than the other.
To look for arguments against our beliefs can open our mind, to exposition to different ways of thinking…. And not necessary about big things, it can be about our every day life, why we criticize the others, their clothes, their behaviour… to search for information as checked as posible (the science by the moment is the best we have).
The books, news, the programs on tv, radio… are made by persons and no one have the whole truth.
Dogmas exist even in science, we are very passional about our knowledge, we only have to take a look in history and observe how many fights, murders, crimes….. because of ideas, people thinking different things and trying to live in their way… and we keep now on this way… maybe should be better to understand that the most of our ideas are a inheritance from former people
We can have a better control of our life and be more happy if we get more aware why we think the way we do, why we believe something one way… we can understand better another people trying to know where this ideas were coming.
Hope to be of help…a kiss
The search on how the brain works is making us to understand better how we take decisions and how we can use this knowledge to be happy.
Brain is like a net (like fishermen’s), when you sew more and more in one part this makes stronger, this is similar to what it happens in our brain, when you think more in something this thought gets stronger, It´s interesting an article from Lena Jelinek and Steffen Moritz. “Association Splitting”, you can get the manual in this link: http://www.uke.uni-hamburg.de/kliniken/psychiatrie/index_31780.php
Education is very important to develop the skill to be happy. When baby, to be care with love and tenderness is very importatn because it generate a pre schema where new knowledge will be add. We develope a system of beliefs about how we are, how the world is, what we can expect from others and the world, what is good and bad, how to behave…. This schema can be change along the whole life, human beings have capacity of learning all life long.
Why I talk about beliefs? We do because faith, we believe things are on one way and we behave as effect. If you believe that you need to wear red shoes to go to work or something really wrong will happen, would you be able to go to work with white shoes?... we really do this way. To any knowledge association we associate a feeling, here red shoes—work—fear. The story can be easy or not, it depends on what work you have… If your are a clown… or you are a priest….
If we search in our memory we can find beliefs that are little logical (over all in another persons, of course…).
For example, I have two children, full of energy (from always, who sais newborns are not active?), with my expectative and the ones of my mother in love about how much food they need we generate a problem… I consider that they should eat more but… as they were healthy and active I didn´t worry so much, one day I reconsider the expectative because my mother in love went to far, she told me that if I didn´t obligate my older doughter to eat more her stomach would close…. Well, this was too much, my doughter had always be even more than the average on the percentiles so if she was healthy, energy and growing there was no evidence she was not feeding herself enough…my concern should be the quality not the quantity.
To obligate a baby or a child to eat can be a kind of abuse…and our society is very tolerant to it.
How I can learn to be happy? We have to evaluate what we belief in…. the key can be our emotions… when we emotion we get angry, or need to imposition our opinion to another person we should stop and think, why our opinion is better than the other.
To look for arguments against our beliefs can open our mind, to exposition to different ways of thinking…. And not necessary about big things, it can be about our every day life, why we criticize the others, their clothes, their behaviour… to search for information as checked as posible (the science by the moment is the best we have).
The books, news, the programs on tv, radio… are made by persons and no one have the whole truth.
Dogmas exist even in science, we are very passional about our knowledge, we only have to take a look in history and observe how many fights, murders, crimes….. because of ideas, people thinking different things and trying to live in their way… and we keep now on this way… maybe should be better to understand that the most of our ideas are a inheritance from former people
We can have a better control of our life and be more happy if we get more aware why we think the way we do, why we believe something one way… we can understand better another people trying to know where this ideas were coming.
Hope to be of help…a kiss
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